Once More, With Feeling
by troubledyouth09
Summary: While searching for a way to live without feeling, Nny finds a girl dying to have them back...
1. Intro

-1"Oh- God- please stop. Please stop. I'll tell you anything, just… just let me go." the man screamed. His words were barely auditable over the sound of the chainsaw Nny had just started up.

"What could you possibly tell me that I already don't know, or want to know for that matter?" he said warily turning off the saw for a moment. This should be rather amusing he thought to himself.

"I'll tell you where SHE is." he said moaning. "That's what you want right? The girl? I have her, and I'll let you have her if you let me go you sick bastard."

Nny could tell he'd need this information quickly if he wanted it. It had been awhile since his last kill, and he really wanted to kill this one, but he would miss the chance if this kept up. He was already slurring his words because of the massive blood loss. "Yes, yes. That's right. The girl. Where is she?" Nny asked, deciding to play along with this game for a while. It couldn't really hurt anything. And he wanted to find out who this girl was.

"She's at Handy Holding Warehouses. Bin number 777 ((ironically)). I sedated her yesterday night before you brought me…here." he realized for the first time he didn't know where here was or even how he got here. "She'd be coming out of it at about 8 in the morning. Now please, let me go."

"We'll see." though there was no intent to let him go. "I'd um… better make sure you're telling the truth. So yeah- you stay here. Mr. Samsa is around here somewhere. DONOT squish him." And with that, Nny left the room.


	2. The Girl

-1It was about 9 in the morning before Nny decided to go see if this girl really existed. He grabbed his keys and his coat (which, may he add- wasn't as cool as the one he'd gotten in hell, but would suffice for the moment.) and got in his car.

Handy Holding Warehouses were only around 10 minutes away. They had gone out of business at least 6 years ago, and the fence gates had been locked so Johnny parked outside the gates. Instead of climbing over like he'd earlier planned, he found a small hole cut in the fence which he was able to fit through.

"Of course," he mumbled as he got to the bin. "There always has to be a lock to complicate things." he turned around electing to leave when he heard a crash inside. As curiosity grabbed hold, he grabbed a nearby rock and smashed the lock. He opened the garage door to find another door behind it. It was a sliding glass door with black construction paper stuck to it, making sure no light got inside of the room. As he opened the door a slim beam of light filtered in. he started searching for a light switch and found a pull cord right in front of the door. Nny looked around as his eyes adjusted to the light.

It looked like a replica of a small bedroom, sort of. There was a smashed TV on the floor, which is what he heard outside. There was a double bed frame with a mattress and no blankets positioned in the middle of the room. Laying on top of that bed, was the girl, he supposed. Her ankle was shackled to the bed frame which seemed to have been drilled into the floor. She was crying into her arms when Nny first noticed her.

"Umm…" was the best he could come up with to start a conversation. Well, not so much to start a conversation as to make his presence known. He felt wrong just watching her without her knowing he was.

She squeaked as she looked up. "Who… why… who are you?" she asked, her voice raspy and cold. Even from a distance, Johnny could make out her harsh features. She was too skinny to be very pretty, and she was covered in dirt. Her eyes were dark, coal back when put next to her pale white skin. Her hair was long from what he could tell and extremely tangled. She was wearing an oversized white T-shirt that almost completely covered her gym shorts.

"Umm… my name is Johnny, but all my friends call me Nny." He said continuing to look around. The walls seemed to be padded to block out noise to the outside. There was a can on the floor by the bed and the top was laying beside it. "What's your name?" He asked in a rather distracted tone.

"Sage Tanner." she stood up and took a step closer to him. She was limping, keeping all her weight off the ankle with the shackle on it. Nny could see dried blood around the top and the bottom. Soon, he realized that was not the only place blood was leaking from. The knuckles of her left hand were bleeding badly. More dried blood was on her T-shirt and arms. "You're…one of them aren't you?" She asked trying to maintain her balance, but failing.

Nny jumped forward and caught her before she touched the ground. He felt as if there was a small flame that had just started up inside of him. As quick as it came, he dismissed it. "Well, whomever THEY are, I don't believe I am one." He released her as soon as she had her balance again.

"So then, why are you here? Not that I'm ungrateful if you're here to rescue me, but not many people know about this place, unless you are one of them." She said still not quite trusting him. She had no reason to trust anyone for that matter.

"Well Sage, I sincerely don't believe I am one of them, and I guess I could get you out of here if you'd like. You seem like a decent enough person." He said still distracted by the settings. A small metal safe situated in the far corner of the room had caught his attention. There was something lying next to it but he could tell for sure what it was.

"Well, gee… get out of this hell-hole of a place? Sounds like a nice idea. Look, it's great what you're trying to do, but he'll find me. He will. I know it, and then things would be worse then ever." She said with tears welling up in her eyes.

"What's in the safe?" Nny asked paying little attention to the girl. He looked over at her after the question and she looked scared to death. "What's in there?" wondering what could be so horrible.

"Please, no." Sage whimpered. He didn't look like one of them, but she couldn't be sure yet. He seemed too young, but these corporate protégés could practically be 10-year-olds now days. Still, she trusted him for some reason. Still him going over there was a bad idea. But obviously, it didn't matter now. "Stop, please- get me outta here." she begged hoping to take his mind off the safe.

As he approached it, he realized what was lying on the floor was a human corpse, still bleeding from the neck. He looked over at the girl. "Your work?" he asked with a half-smile starting across his face.

"I had too. I couldn't take it anymore. He was going to get in the safe and I… I killed him. He had it coming." She said looking straight at Nny. She didn't have an ounce of remorse in her eyes.

"Hmm…" he said as he kicked over the body. She had slit his throat with a piece of metal she had probably torn off the top of her bed. "Let's get you out of here Sage, what do you say?"

She couldn't believe this, he was actually going to help her. This was the day she had been dreaming about. But things were starting to get blurry and she crumpled to the ground before she could respond.


	3. Emotionless

-1Sage awoke in a dingy lit living room, lying on the couch. There was a thin blanket thrown over her that was stained with something that look familiarly like blood. She sat up and immediately regretted it. She almost blacked out again, but she sat back, holding onto the armrest for support. She stood up (slowly) after a few minutes and looked around. "Hello?" she attempted to yell but her voice was raspy. She figured she had cried in her sleep again.

"Oh, hey- you're awake." Nny said as he walked into the living room with a bowl of 'skettios (( YAY! Skettios are good!)). He offered her his bowl but she declined. Truthfully, he was happy she was awake. He'd been thinking about her all though the day. "You slept for a long time. It's almost midnight." He said turning on the TV to make sure there would be no awkward silences.

"Where am I?" Sage asked sitting back down on the opposite end of the couch.

"Oh- my house. I figured you could stay with me for awhile. If you want to, that is. I could take you to a hotel or something, you know- if umm… you don't like it here." he said stumbling all over his words. _What's wrong with you? _He thought to himself. _You've only been like this once before, and that was… well- a long time ago. You got rid of that feeling- meaning THIS CANNOT BE IT!!! You're almost purely emotionless and you're not giving it all up for this… this girl!!!_

"Here is fine I guess." She said looking around. She started to say something else when she turned very pale. "Where is your bathroom, I really should shower, I'm sure I'm just a mess." She said standing back up quickly. "Ow- goddamnit! My ankle- I forgot." She said swiftly sitting back down.

Johnny picked her leg up gently and put it on his lap. He could see where she'd been pulling at the restraint it was bloody and the skin was pink and raw. It was badly bruised (but he noted that the rest of her body seemed pretty bruised too) and he wasn't sure but he thought it might be broken. "Can you put any weight on it?" he asked placing her leg gingerly back on the floor.

"Yeah, I think a little."

'Okay," Nny said while putting his arm around her as he helped her stand up (_you're just helping her stand up, it means nothing more)_ "Well, my bathroom is um… well… broken. All of it- so we'll go next door. My friend lives over there and he'll let you shower and we'll fix that ankle up. I'm thinking it's just sprained, but I'm not sure. Squee might be able to tell- I dunno." He said as they limped to the door.

"Squee?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah- Squee… it's a long story."

"Ah- okay…" And she left it at that. If she talked anymore, she thought she might faint again.

When Squee answered the door, Sage thought he looked a bit like Johnny. Around 15 now, he was tall and thin with black hair and pale skin. The only big difference between the boys was their eyes and some premature age lines on Nny.

"What's up Nny?" He asked, perplexed at why Johnny had a live person with him, no matter how close on the verge of death she seemed. He was use to seeing Johnny's fatalities once Nny was done (he had made the mistake of going down into the tunnel one time) and had gotten use to it, but he'd never been able to stomach what Nny would do to them while they were still alive. So why had he brought her here.

"Hey- is it okay if she uses your shower. Mines… broken." He said, remembering when he'd first met Squee 5 years ago. It seemed like so much more.

"Yeah, sure I guess." He said letting out a small chuckle. He didn't mind having Nny come over, and he could now anytime. Squee's parents had left early sometime last year, and never came back. Squee wasn't too worried, and figured they'd forgotten they even had a son back at the house. Johnny had still been gone 'finding himself' or whatever when they left, so that eliminated him as their potential killer.

Squee got Sage a towel and they left her in the bathroom. They went back out to the living room. "Cherry Fiz-Wiz?" Squee asked heading to get one of his own.

"Yeah- sure." Nny said sitting down on the sofa.

"So- those dead bodies still in your bathtub, huh?" Squee asked remembering the last time he'd been caused to 'squee' lately.

He laughed "Yeah, man- I should probably clean those up." It was quite for a few minutes before anyone said anything.

"So- pardon my intrusion of privacy, and you don't have to answer if you don't want, but umm… why didn't you…you know…" Squee trailed off as he handed him his soda.

Johnny shot him a glare, but if faded quickly as Nny remembered who he was dealing with. The one person who didn't judge him, and really wasn't that scared of him anymore. His expression turned thoughtful. "I dunno really, Squee. I found her chained up and she was really hurt and I think… I think I felt something. Compassion maybe. I've killed hundreds if not thousands of people but she seemed… different. Decent even, just tired, angry and scared, kind of like me I guess. I'm not sure if she trust me yet, and it's probably better that way. She still might be in danger." He said. He'd still been killing, just not as much. Just as a way to relieve some stress now and again. There were no voices anymore, since he had burned Rev. Meat about 2 months ago.

"So you're telling me," Squee said sitting up, "that this girl has made Mr. Emotionless feel something?" He said smiling and laughing.

"HEY!" Johnny said in the best manic voice, "I still know where you sleep and I can get in without you knowing."

"squee…" escaped from his lips and Nny started to laugh. "Hey! That's not fair- you're dammed scary!" He yelled as he started to blush.

"Umm.. Hi" Sage said standing in the hall, using the wall to support her weight. The towel Squee had given her was wrapped around her several times, reminding Johnny just how skinny she really was. She looked different cleaned up. He could see how hollow her face was and her skin somehow seemed even paler. Translucent even. He felt a twinge in his chest, that in the end, he admitted, he must be feeling sorrow for this girl.


	4. First Freedom

-1Squee decided that the ankle was most likely just sprained badly but said he'd keep an eye on it. They wrapped it up and started tending to her other wounds. She had a big bruise on the front of her stomach which Squee was the most concerned with. He thought it might be internal bleeding, and said Nny should keep a very close watch on it over the next few days. She had about 6 deep cuts on her back, with many shallow little ones surrounding them. Next, they tended to the gash on the side of her forehead. The last things they bandaged was her hand and both her arms. Most of the wounds on her arms seemed self inflicted and many of them were very deep.

"You're lucky you didn't damage the tendons in you right wrist too. The left wrist is almost completely severed." Squee said pouring disinfectant into the wounds.

"Yeah- I guess so…" She said in a distant voice. She was very monotone, but she started to cry silently.

"Squee- let it go." Nny whispered. Squee shook his head.

When they were done bandaging her up, Squee got Sage some of his clothing to wear. It looked overly big on her, and she was pretty sure that the pants might fall off, but for once she felt warm and comfortable. They left, telling Squee to bring over some Taco Smells later in the morning.

"Do you want to sit on the roof?" Nny asked opening the window. It was time for the sunrise almost and he really wanted her to see it.

"Umm… okay? How are we going to get me up there?" She asked thinking there was no way they'd fit her though that window in her condition.

"It's okay, I'll help you up." He smiled his first genuine smile in a long time. She was very light and he easily pulled her up with one hand. She smiled at him, wondering why anyone would treat her so nicely. Especially a cute boy like himself. Sage knew he had to be older then her, but not too much. He was taller then her (which wasn't hard since she only reached about 5'6") with dark, cold eyes. They seemed almost emotionless. He was thin, and anything thought to be fat was more likely to be muscle. His hair was longer in the front and shorter in the back, tousled in a laid back manner. If she had a kind of guy she went for- he'd be her type.

"God Nny, this is beautiful," she said looking up at the stars as they started to disappear.

"Yeah- I've always liked sitting up here." He said looking up. He noticed she was still shivering out of the corner of his eye and handed her his coat.

"Thanks." She said wrapping it around her. "Nny. Can I ask you a question?"

"Any-" Johnny stopped for a moment, reconsidering his answer, "… sure."

"Why are you doing this all for me. You don't even really know me. At all. I could be a horrid person and you wouldn't know… so, why help me?" she asked tightening the coat around her.

He pondered over the question for a while. "Truthfully, I dunno. I've seen people suffer and felt nothing for them, but you made me feel something. I've wondered if maybe you were a bad person, being locked up and all, usually good people don't find themselves in those types of sticky situations. I think I have a good idea of what they were doing to you in there?" He said looking over at her. She was looking back with a half smile that disappeared with his last question.

"Yes, they were…-" she started in a shaky tone before Nny interrupted.

"It's okay. You shouldn't have to relive that." He said getting angrier every

minute. "They will pay for what they did to you. Every one of them. They're sorry excuses for human beings, and you should know the entire world isn't that way." He growled, remembering the almost exact same speech he had with Squee some years back.

"Yeah? You'd do that for me?" Sage questioned in disbelief.

Nny smiled. "Come here. He said sliding back through the window, "I have something I want to show you." He smiled again as he helped her back into the house.


	5. Christmas Came Early

-1Nny unlocked the doors leading into the basement(s) below. He had a hold of Sage's hand leading her down. He noticed that she was very tense because of the contact. _She is like you, _Johnny thought to himself, _she's an outcast, afraid of human touch and has been treated like shit by people who are worse then her. She seems scared now, but as time passes, she'll become more angry then scared… I can feel it already starting inside of her… _

He let go of her hand as he opened the door to one of the rooms. Inside sat the man that earlier Johnny had wanted to kill so badly. He was glad he hadn't yet. She gasped and took a step backwards where she immediately stumbled.

_"_No. It's okay. I promise, he can't get you here. Look," Nny said tightening the restraints.

The man groaned in response. He was very groggy from blood loss. He started to wake up when he saw Sage. "There- you have the girl now let me go. Please" He added in for a last resort.

Sage had stood up and entered the doorway. "You." She whispered under her breath. She ran towards him and punched him straight across the face.

"YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" She screamed repeatedly as she continued to beat him. He was muttering and sobbing with each punch and kick, begging for Nny to let him go. Nny cocked his head to one side and smiled. He didn't like to touch people and beating someone with just his hands never made him feel much better, or seemed to do much damage, but this girl knew how to throw a punch.

Still crying, Sage fell to the floor still managing to choke out obscenities and threats. Nny rushed over to her, a small bit worried she'd been hurt and helped her up. She took a step towards the man but Johnny pulled her back. "No," he whispered, smiling maliciously, "Wait. We'll come back tomorrow, and you can continue." He smiled again. "We don't want to waste all your strength."

"Fine." She spat out spinning around. She headed back towards the stairs leading up when everything seemed to get very far away. She reached to the walls to steady herself as she fainted.

"Fuck." Johnny said rushing over to her. He picked her up as gently as possible and carried her back to the main floor of the house, knowing there was still something seriously wrong with the girl.


	6. In Love and Death

-1She awoke on Nnys' couch again, covered with the same blanket. This time however both Squee and Johnny stood over her, watching her with worried eyes. Johnny was the first to speak.

"You need to go to the hospital." he said quickly, looking away- already figuring he knew what Sages' reaction would be.

"WHAT?!" She screamed. "No. I'm fine, really. I am. We don't need to go to the hospital. I was just… really hungry- I'm sure if I eat something, I'll be fine."

"No. you really need to go. Squee thinks-" Johnny stopped.

She looked at both of them. "Squee… Squee thinks what?" she swallowed dryly.

"I'm-m… not sure… but-t you might be… pregnant. We need to go get you

tested." He said being very careful to look only at Nny and the floor close to his feet.

"What?" She choked out. "You mean…me? No, that can't be." She said sitting up and hugging her knee's to her chest. She started rocking back and forth, as tears slid from her eyes.

Squee sat down beside her and started telling her that it was okay and that everything would be fine, they weren't sure she was, but they did want to know incase something were to happen.

Johnny couldn't stand it. He walked hurriedly into his room and shut the door behind him. Squee told him that she would probably react this way at first, but he never thought the actions would have this kind of affect on him.

_Come now, Johnny my boy, you know it would help her. Just do what you did last time you felt this way. A knife now would save her from the pain she'll suffer later._

"FUCK YOU D-BOY!!!" He screamed under his breath. "I killed you, you bastard."

_To kill me Johnny, you'd have to kill yourself, and we don't want that, do we? _

"I won't do it. I won't" Nny said trying to convince himself. "I couldn't kill her."

"Nny?" a small voice asked from the other side of the room. Johnny spun around to see Sage standing there. "Nny? You okay?" she asked, looking at him worriedly.

"Fine. Just… fine." He said taking a deep breath, and forcing a smile on his face. "How about you?"

"Johnny, can I ask you for a favor?" She said walking over towards him. She stood no less then an arms length away from him and the 12-inch blade inside the waistband of his jeans.

"Sure." He asked grabbing the top of the knife.

"I told Squee I wasn't going to the hospital, and we compromised that he would get one of those _things_ you do at home and bring it back." She said looking at the floor. "If it comes out… you know… that I am… I want you to… well I want you to help me." She said looking directly into his eyes.

"I've helped you this far, haven't I?" he said, lifting the knife out behind his back. He felt numb all over and willed himself to stop, even if it was just to finish her train of thought.

"I have a feeling that it will be… positive. And, well… if it is… I want you to kill me." She said never breaking the gaze.

Nny stopped, stunned. "You want me to… kill you if you are? I mean, why?"

"I could never be a mother to it. Never. It would be a constant reminder of what was and how bad the last 2 years of my life have been." She said tears brimming her eyes.

"2 years?" He said in disbelief.

"Yeah, 2 years. It made me forget even the simplest of human emotion, and I could ever raise a child along with having to relearn everything out here in this world."

Nny stared at her. He saw for the first time how beautiful she really was. Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside. While he struggled against everything to loose all feeling, all emotion, this girl who couldn't be more then 17 was wishing for death because she couldn't feel. And he, himself, was almost to that point too.

"Oh god, Sage." He said grabbing her with his arm. He pulled her up close to him in something close to an embrace.

She was crying. "Nny, please, just say you will. I'd rather not live either way, but I figure you wouldn't unless you knew how I really felt, and I guess that would be the worst of the 2-" She said abruptly through the tears.

"Shh. Sage. It's okay. Come on," he said grabbing her hand and leading her to the roof. "I want to show you something."

It was night already again as they stood out on the roof. He held her against him in both his arms.

"You know how you said it was beautiful the other night?" he asked putting his head almost on top of hers. She smelled like lilac and roses. The smells all the shit in the world couldn't take away from him.

"Yes" she whispered, crying into his chest with her arms wrapped around him.

"Well" he smiled, giving the top of her head a kiss, "how about a change of the view?" and with that, he lifted the knife he was holding behind her back and shoved it through her back.

She gasped and her eyes grew wide. Nny caught her as she started to fall backwards, and laid her softly on the roof.

She smiled and motioned for him to lean in. "thank you" she whispered in his ear.

He sat with her for about 20 minutes, until he was sure she was dead. He held her hands and told her it was going to be okay, telling her stories of the devil and god. It took her a long time to finally pass, and at 1:20 a.m., her hand became lifeless. Nny let a single tear slip out of the corner of his eye as he picked her up and carried her back into the house.

He had started to bury her by the time Squee got back.

"Nny. Where's Sa-" he stopped when he saw Nny filling in a hole that was approximately the size of a grave. "So I spent my money on these for nothing?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'll pay you back." Johnny said as he kept working.

"I was kidding. It's okay really. I guess she was right not to trust you?" He said in a last ditch-attempt.

"Not right now Todd. I'm not in the mood"

Squee knew he was serious. He never got called by his real name. "okay," he said, walking back over to his house.

Johnny marked the grave with some rocks for now, figuring that he would make a gravestone for her later. But right now he had some other business to attend to… he had promised the man in the basement that he would let him go, and he decided that he would… he could use a good chase before a kill. Nny just hoped the chainsaw had enough gas left in it.


End file.
